Tim Thoughtsenlightening since 1984

Good Luck With That

ESPN - Agent: Grizzlies forward Brown agrees to two-year deal with Pistons - NBA

To give you a sense of how bad this bum is, take a look at some of the real life suggestions YouTube offers you when you type “Kwame Brown” into the search box:

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I Guess the "Oklahoma City Whatchamacallits" was Taken

After losing their NBA franchise of 40 years, fans of the former Seattle Supersonics can gain some solitude in the fact the newly relocated team will replace the Charlotte Bobcats as the team with the worst name in professional basketball:

The NBA has filed for trademark rights to six nicknames for the league’s new Oklahoma City franchise: Barons, Bison, Energy, Marshalls, Thunder and Wind.
An attorney for the league made the filing Monday with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office.
Marshal is usually spelled with one l. It’s not clear why the league used a variant spelling.

I can only assume that among the nicknames left on the production room floor included Earth, Fire, Water and Heart. I also love how the ESPN article is confused why the new team could spell “Marshals” with two letter L’s , yet they are not asking the bigger question of “Seriously? These are the names you came up with? Ugh.”

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You Know You Live Near Washington, DC If...

Netflix tells you that other users in and around your area are currently renting the following titles “much more than other Netflix members:”

• The West Wing Seasons 2
• The West Wing Season 7
• The Wire Season 1
• The Wire Season 3
• The Wire Season 4
• All the President’s Men
• The American President
• and Dave

Although, included in the top 25 list are also Big, Veronica Mars: Season 2, and Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.0, so this list either means nothing or we should be seriously worried about the state of our government.

On second thought, I shouldn’t be complaining as my roommate and I invested in a 5-foot poster of the movie Live Free or Die Hard because it took place in Washington, DC.

It was either that or a life-sized cardboard cutout of Eddie Murphy from The Distinguished Gentleman.

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I'm Going to Need a Montage

As we look to next season for the Lakers to finally reclaim their winning ways, I am going to have to rely on other non-basketball related sports fixes so my brain can cope with losing to the Celtics and not exploding. 

No, I’m not going to break down and start watching professional baseball (aka the grass grow). Instead I’m going to feast upon a steady diet of 90s related sports movies including Mighty Ducks 2, Little Big League, Cool Runnings, Rudy, Sandlot, and obviously Major League 3: Back to the Minors. 

Heck, I might even watch Celtic Pride because it’ll remind me that Celtics fans are crazy and that they’re holding Andrew Bynum hostage in their cellar. 

To feel what I’m talking about when I extol the virtues of feel good sports movies, indulge yourself with this:

90’s Sports Montage Review

I think a disciplined regime of 90s sports movies will clear my head and help me grow as a person over the summer, although I’ll probably just end up spending the summer in my room with the lights off looping my Lakers 2002 Finals Championship DVD while rocking back and forth in a fetal position trying to dial Rick Fox’s cell phone.

Btw, speaking of inspiring montages:

 

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I can't help but notice...

…that in the TV ads for the new M. Knight Shyamalan movie, it says “From the director of The Sixth Sense and Signs” and not “From the guy who made you sit thru The Village and Lady in the Water.” Interesting.

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In the words of Jon Lovitz: "Acting!"

According to Wikipedia:

The Boy Who Cried Wolf, also known as The Shepherd Boy and the Wolf, is a fable attributed to Aesop (210 in Perry’s numbering system), and written in 1673. The protagonist of the fable is a bored shepherd boy who entertained himself by calling out “wolf”. Nearby villagers who came to his rescue found that the alarms were false and that they’d wasted their time. When the boy was actually confronted by a wolf, the villagers did not believe his cries for help and the wolf ate the flock. In some fairy-tale versions, when the villagers ignore him the wolf eats him, and in other versions he simply mocks the boy, saying now no one will help him, and that it serves him right for playing tricks.

I’d like to add one more example of this story: Paul Pierce’s “fake injury” tonight. He was so “badly injuried” that his teammates had to physically carry his butt off the court and put him in a wheelchair. Then 5 minutes later, he is running back onto the court and inserts himself in the game. This is the lamest attempt at getting the crowd into the game I’ve had the displeasure of witnessing. Channeling Willis Reed is one thing. 

In game 2, Paul Pierce can literally have his “cappa detated from his head” and I won’t even bat an eye until I see a doctor’s note. If the whole NBA thing doesn’t work out after the Lakers knock the Celtics out of the playoffs, he’s got a career on the next broadway run of the Producers.

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